The End of the Chemo

Hopefully, my last chemo session two weeks ago (more on that later). The last few were all pretty bad...it was really starting to catch up and take its toll on my body. I had been getting really anxious about the last few so the doctor proscribed me xanax to take before the treatment, but just the anticipation of getting sick was really overwhelming and I had to go throw up in the bathroom about half way through. Its pretty crazy that I still managed to have that much anxiety despite the three xanies I took that morning....

I am really amazed at the reaction my body has to the doctor's office now. The way it smells turns my stomach. I was watching a movie the other day where one character is in the hospital with an IV, and just seeing the logo on the bag made me nauseous. I've become the exact opposite of Pavlov's dog; instead of salivating I barf.

Some friends from college came in town last week, and what I thought was going to be a dinner out with them and my parents was actually a huge surprise party thrown by my friends in celebration of my last treatment. I was completely surprised. There were probably 20 or so people there...we had a private room and everything. My littlest sister even came home a day early from college to attend, I felt really lucky and loved to have such great friends and family.

I am still a bit in the dark as to what the rest of my treatment will entail, but he rest of this week is full of more scans and tests and doctor's appointments and I should be more informed by Friday. Hopefully everything goes well and I have responded enough to the chemo so that the radiation can begin soon. It would be a major drag if the tests aren't positive and I have to go back on the red devil....that would really suck.

I cannot describe how great I have been feeling this week knowing that I didn't have to go get another treatment. As of right now I am 16 days out, so this is probably the best/most energy I've felt since my birthday in November. I even went swimming again for the first time in six months. I was really slow. Contemplating entering some open water races over the summer so I have an excuse to really get back in the pool.

A Much Needed Update

People have been urging me to post an update, so here it is.

The aftermath from the fifth treatment (when I wrote the last update) was truly awful. I had been saying that previous treatments left me feeling bad but not acutely miserable, but number five finally put me in a really awful place. The day after my last post I lay in bed literally all day, feeling really ill and uncomfortable and pathetic. That night I puked a bunch of times, marking my first experience in hugging the porcelain with chemo sickness. When I was first diagnosed, I thought I would be doing a whole lot of barfing but that is apparently not the case anymore with more modern medicines. Hopefully it won't happen much more. I also thought I would be losing a lot of weight with all of this, but with a decent appetite and lack of serious vomiting that hasn't been the case. I thought simply not drinking beer anymore would do the trick, but I suppose my general lack of movement these days probably compensates for those calories and my weight has remained steady (the doctor says this is good).

Round six was now eight days ago, and it was par for the course (especially compared to five), although it is now taking me about an entire week to feel "normal" again. Normal is such a relative term these days, as my body is just so weak and I get so tired so easily, but I use it here to mean no longer feeling chemo-y and sick. It is still such a difficult feeling to describe and I struggle to find comparisons. Think a really bad hangover that doesn't go away for days.

Luckily, I only have two more rounds and then I am finished. I know I should have a few weeks off before I start radiation, but that hasn't really been spelled out yet. All I know is it will be 30-45 minutes a day, 5 days a week, for a month. Apparently Hodgkin's has been successfully treated solely with chemotherapy or radiation, but a combination of the two is just as effective while minimizing the side effects of either...sounds good to me.

Also, to my Middlebury classmates: I fully plan on being at reunion this summer and if you are not there I will personally take offense.

Journey of a Prizefighter

I am writing this post from the treatment room at the oncologist, my first instance of "live blogging" I suppose. It is a little cumbersome to type with an IV in your arm, but I've got to keep myself occupied here somehow for the next couple of hours. As usual, I am surrounded by old people staring at me like I don't belong.

In a lot of ways, getting chemotherapy is like going through a long boxing match. The first few rounds go by pretty quickly and you recover pretty much back to normal in between, but as the process goes on your body simply can't take the abuse and you never get back to normal. The bar drops a bit lower every time and I can feel myself getting weaker with each round. Good thing I am already on round 5 of 8 and won't have to put up with this for too much longer. I really can't wait for things to be normal again.

The Red Devil

The "A" in ABVD stands for Adriamycin, more affectionately known as "The Red Devil" by chemotherapy patients. This is apparently one of the more toxic drugs I am on, as well as the one that makes me the sickest after treatment. It is also the drug I mentioned in a previous post as being caustic to skin an muscle tissue. This is why it must be "pushed" by a nurse as opposed to just dripping down through a normal IV.

Please note the sickening red color of the medicine as it is pushed.

The good Hodgkin's

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umL6fwNgYnc

Holidaze

The past few weeks have been a blur. I can't believe I haven't posted in three weeks. Treatment 2 went about the same as the first...four or five days of feeling like you have the flu on crack followed by ten days of just feeling tired and a little miserable. Real levels of fatigue have finally begun to set in. I'm getting exhausted really easily and not really sleeping all that well.

I'm not sure if treatment 3 went better than the first ones but since I had it on December 21st, the flurry of Christmastime obligatory activities distracted me enough to where time flew and I never felt too bad. Christmas was really low key and simple which was nice.

My hair is starting to fall out in gobs. It's at the point where if I take a pinch almost all of it comes out. I think I'll be pretty bald in a week or so at which point I'll just go to the barber and get it all shaved. Might get some crazy neck tattoos to go along with the whole look.

I go back in for round 4 on Monday and then I will be halfway done with chemotherapy. If everything goes to schedule, I'll be done with radiation by the beginning of Summer.

Two down, six to go.

I had my second treatment yesterday. Only six more and I am done!